Forgive and Move on

I heard an interesting lecture the other night at a function at the Federal Reserve Building. The speaker was discussing the importance of being grounded during turbulent times, that when when we experience stimuli from outside ourselves, our first reaction is emotional and not rational. The purpose of our emotional reaction is to protect us from physical danger (ie, rattlesnake), but it is quite often inaccurate in perception. In other words fear distorts perception.

The lecture was a financial seminar, and the speaker was discussing the psychology of poor investment decisions. Most decisions made "in the moment" end up being destructive to one's portfolio. It is the investor who is aware of the fundamentals, the actual strengths and weaknesses of the company, that is best equipped to weather the technical chaos of an emotional market. That strategy of intentional goal-tending is what turns "horrible days" of stock crashes into buying opportunities for companies that are well-funded, well-lead, and well-positioned for the future. True, you might miss the elusive "pop" that motivates the day-trader, but the point is investing. His advice was 4-fold: 1) know what you can learn; 2) admit you don't know what's going to happen next; 3) prepare yourself for living amidst uncertainties; 4) make choices that are based on integrity and responsibility.

Then the speaker said something about his book, "Moral Intelligence", and the importance of forgiveness in experiencing life as your "ideal self". He said that forgiveness is the ability to let go and move on. Forgiveness is not about accepting someone's behaviors; it's not about going back to the way things were, or pretending there are no consequences...consequences are a type of reality-check.
Forgiveness is just letting go of your own agenda, and moving on in one's own life. It is surrendering the right to hold onto a hope or grudge.
Forgiveness is the freedom to enter life loosened from the shackles of the past.

I look forward to my new life, knowing that I need Jesus to meet all my emotional and relational needs.
Jesus, please be my spouse, and guide me in your paths. (Isaiah 54: 5-6)

China trip 09

Tomorrow a team of students and faculty head to China for a cross-cultural experience. The students have set up a blog at http://hchschina.blogspot.com and will post something here if we find time to get online.
We fly out of Newark, NJ, over the icecap to Shanghai.
Then we head to Xi'an.
Later we spend a day in Huangshan.
We spend our last week in Beijing.
Unless of course we get sent to a quarantine camp because some passenger has a fever.
right... Oh well.
Trust God, then step.

Manoah and "his wife"

"As the flame blazed up from the alter toward heaven, the angel of the LORD ascended in the flame. Seeing this, Manoah and his wife fell with their faces to the ground. When the angel of the LORD did not show himself again to Maooah and his wife, Manoah realized that it was the angel of the LORD.
'We are going to die,' he said to his wife. 'We have seen God.'
But his wife answered, 'If the LORD had meant to kill us, he would not have accepted a burnt offering from our hands, nor shown us these things or now told us this.' "

I love this woman! Crisp logic. I wonder why we don't get to know her name... we know Manoah, but he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Perhaps that is the way of life. Some things are left to mystery.

Forgive and Remember

I think it is interesting that the Apostle Paul, writer of most of the Christian Canon, preaches forgiveness for enemies, and at the same time warns followers to remember the sins of those who opposed his ministry.
I think it is interesting that the LORD God met Moses face-to-face, intimately, and yet would not let him cross into the Promised Land, because he struck the rock instead of speaking to it.
There is such a thing as "too far". Judas knew that, too late. Jesus did not say, "Good for you; you brought about my sacrificial atonement on the cross by betraying me." No, Jesus said, "Woe to you; it would be better that you were never born."
Forgiving is not forgetting; it is surrendering the reality of that situation to the Lordship of Christ, for His judgment. I would make a horrible judge; I'm tainted. Like old Betty once quoted, "Leave room for the Wrath of God." Surrender wrath to the One who sees clearly.
It removes the stone from my hand, but proclaims, "...be on your guard."
So I will seek to forgive, but I will also remember the words spoken, the actions taken, not as idols to worship, but reminders of what some people are capable of as I press onward.
Jesus warns his disciples, "I'm sending you out as sheep among wolves, so be gentle as doves but wise as serpents." I will learn from my past; I will not be naive. I know there are those who hide in hallowed halls yet harbor shadowed intention. They will be found out, exposed for what they are, for how they have counseled. God is not mocked; a person reaps what they sow.
The heart is deceitful above all other things; deceit is the opposite of truth. Deceit creates its own reality as an unholy idol. It's worshipers end in death, from the inside out, firstly because they believe their own lies.
The truth will always set us free.
That is the power of confession, not to make anything-- but to release captives.
I desire life; I have value.
Please show me who I am.
I desire freedom; I have a ministry ahead of me.
Please show me my next step in obedience.
I need you, Jesus. All else I surrender before You: my sins, my failings, my flaws, my fear... my shallow theology.
Jesus, today is Easter; please raise my heart from the dead... catch me on fire and watch me burn.

Spring '09

It's spring; I can feel life returning from the death of Winter.
It's a new world today.
Yesterday can never return, except in fading memory.
Birds are singing today to find a new mate or re-establish an old territory.
Trees are wafting their pollen.
Flowers adorn the land in an exclamation that God is bigger.
This is the Present, the Now.
It is the Easter season: the challenge of Jerusalem, the betrayal, the death, the waiting, and the resurrection.
Glory be to God, and blessings on those who live for holiness.

Why pray?

So I pray for dear friends and family members who are having scary surgeries, and I'm hearing myself pray, and I'm wondering why I pray.
I mean, God already loves them fully.
Do I hope to persuade God to love them more?
Does He not desire that my beloved friends experience His presence?
Already?
I get the part about how prayer opens me up to God in my life, a way of surrendering my will to my LORD. But there is something weird about asking something of the Creator of the Universe, as if He wouldn't do it unless I prayed for it or something.
I do not mean to be disrespectful; that would be horror to me.
I just confess my spiritual ignorance publicly.

Moving forward...

A new world awaits... "Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit." I let go.
They say it gets better.
No more ripping me; healing.
New ways of life.
New sources of comfort.
The old is gone.