Getting your goat? Numbers 15

"...After you enter the land I am giving you as a home..."

I hate reading about Israel, for autobiographical reasons.

To find Chapter 15 in the Book of Numbers is not unlike discovering a wrapper of girl scout Thin Mints in the freezer after thinking my supply has been depleted.
There is something about the annual reading of Numbers in my OYB that conjures that sense that comes from waiting to see the dentist-- you're there for a reason, but is it worth the wait?
Today's reading starts with Ch.14 and that reality does nothing but reinforce my angst... Israel... really? [Jim... really?]
Recap for biblical neophytes:
God knew that a deadly famine was coming that could do great harm to His chosen people, so he used brotherly snarkiness to propel Joseph into a cascade of events, not unlike a Pachinko game, that lands the golden boy as big dog of Egypt. Having set that piece in place, Abba brings over Israel into a protected, fertile land to chase ungulates for a couple centuries... long enough to put their homeland back in shape and make the locals REALLY unpleasant to hang out with. [FYI- sometimes Abba uses jerks and mean people to prepare your hearts to leave a bad situation, so you can experience the MORE-ness He has for you... stop settling for pig slop... Jim.]
By now the locals have enjoyed using/abusing these migrant workers and so Abba raises up Moses by putting him into Pharaoh's own household, educating him in leadership, then sends him out into the wilderness to practice leading huge flocks of clueless Sheep, then at the right time sends Moses back and does a truckload of over-the-top miracles by God's power, demonstrating that he is a worthy leader and has an "in" with God. Because Pharaoh is an entitled jerk and a sorry leader-- because his arrogance and false sense of self is so corrupt, God simply uses that factor to wipe out Egypt's firstborns, which makes the overlords so eager to loose the migrants that they end up subsidizing their exit with bundles of loot.
This is to get Israel back to their homeland, and away from their comfy little slave-life of Less-ness. To help in motivating His people get moving, he puts Pharaoh's army into chariots with lots of scary implements and has them chase Israel through a giant gap through an inland sea, just to make sure they get going.
Once through the middle of the sea, God makes pastry rain down daily for breakfast to feed his people, making water appear in crazy ways in order to take care of Moses' new Flock in the wilderness. Israel continues to be stupid. Continually. Stupid. Finally God brings His people to the gates of the promised land, and send some scouts to go see that it really is a luxurious place with GI-normous amounts of fruit. The scouts gather up the amazing fruit, bring it back to the people, and convince the entire NATION that trusting God is a bad idea. They still have fruit on their breath. That takes us to Chapter 14.
In today's reading we find Israel wanting to kill Moses and Aaron for leading them to the land of milk and honey, instead wanting to go back to life in the slave camp.The people are listening to the Goats and becoming what they listen to (reminds me of the donkey-boys of Pinocchio.. the goat-boys of Israel?), except for Caleb and Joshua who remind the people that God has done EVERYTHING He promised up to that point, with flair, and thus: what's a tall person to the Almighty?
Seriously.
Meanwhile God has had it with these rebellious, unappreciative, blasphemous Goats; He starts warming up the spank ray, when Moses once again does his pastoral intervention thing and wins forgiveness for the Flock. Nonetheless: they pay for their blasphemy with a fatal 40 year hike until all the Goats eventually drop dead. Their blasphemy changes God's initial plan, but being Goats they think they can just use God's immutable nature as an excuse for self-actualization: the Amalekites and Canaanites handed them back their buttocks on a platter-- God was not interested in goatly faith.
Which leads us to Chapter 15.
Here we see a switch: this is a chapter of repeated promises that drip hope like a saturated honeycomb.
"After you enter..."-- you WILL enter, so afterwards...
"..a grain offering of fine flour.."-- crops? that means fields.. that means no more wandering around...
"..prepare a quarter of a hin of wine..."-- wine? that means vineyards... that means grapes, and grapes are fruit, and THAT is what the Father is like.
He does not give up on His people, but it's a REALLY BAD idea to rebel against plan A... at least for you it's a bad idea-- don't miss what Abba has for you, and for God's sake: don't pull somebody else down to your goat-ness.
Don't mess with cursing Daddy's character; listen to Caleb, listen to Joshua-- Abba is good, and He is greater than any supposed giant.
Worldly fear is just a stupid waste of joy and the Blessing that awaits those faithful and courageous enough to stand with Stephen... or Paul... or Jeremiah... or James... or Peter... or (you?)...

Dinora's Priest and Shane Claiborne's "Irresistible Revolution"

Today I was sitting in St. Jerome's Catholic mass for a precious student's Quinceanera, totally enjoying the moment... ok, the mariachi band and film crew from MTV threw me initially, but the priest kept things on track. The stain glass is awesome: there are three exposures--left (south), above the alter, and right, which read in order: "Christ has died", "Christ has risen", "Christ shall come again". Awesome!
Above the alter is a beautiful sculpture of my crucified savior; to the left is an alter to I assume Mary?
So we're worshiping together, and I'm praying for this little sister in Christ and for her precious family, and the priest starts to prepare the elements for the Eucharist (communion), and he says this amazing introductory prayer over the bread... something like, "Lord, we are unworthy to receive these elements... Lord, say the word and Thy servant will be healed." There were tears in my eyes, because I know that there is NOTHING I can do to deserve what Jesus did on the cross; and I am painfully aware that without Christ's mercy and grace, there is no healing for the sin that separates me from His presence.
So I'm sitting there in that pew, tears filling my eyes with an awareness of what Christ has done for an unworthy servant such as myself, and I hear these words: "Only Catholics are allowed to participate in the elements, but if you want a blessing come forward and cross your arms and I will bless you." That means, I will touch your forehead, but you are not invited to the real deal.
This is not the first time I have been un-invited to the Lord's table.
I even thought about going up there and having the priest refuse to share the bread, but that would not honor Christ, only sate my hurt spirit.
So I quietly sat in my pew, finding it difficult to rationalize "being blessed" by the very arm that barred me from my Lord's sacrament.
And then it hit me.
We do the same thing to the homeless.
We bar them from our fellowships.
We gate our communities.
We hire armed guards so we don't have to encounter the homeless or impoverished in our luxurious living.
How is that any different from this Catholic brother who refuses access to Followers of Jesus?
It's really not.
When people buy property for their faith community, do they make sure the location is near the bus routes, or do they tuck it into some suburban neighborhood, barricaded by pedestrian hardship?
Claiborne's book, Irresistible Revolution, is really messing with my Americanized pseudo-Christianity. The Mentor-ship of Campolo is very evident in his writings, reinforced with his eyewitness accounts of living out Christian community in a way that threatens the very fabric of today's empire... Constantine would NOT be amused, but Jesus would smile.
So how do we live out Christ's commands to love your neighbor, sharing all that you have so that no one is needy? How do we step into Christ's command to take up our cross like he did in Jerusalem and follow Him into certain (or at least possible) death? That's crazy talk.
But it's Jesus talk.
And to call Jesus talk "crazy" is to confess that we do not Follow... we simply observe from a safe distance.
It's a lot like the MTV reception following the Mass: the DJ was inviting the young people to come join in the celebration on the dance floor, and the vast majority stood in a scattered semi-circle, far enough from the festivities to be "safe", yet looking earnestly side to side, hoping some of their peers would lead them with those first few steps forward.
Nothing. Fear ruled.
The celebration was only joined when excited participants left the dance floor to come firmly lead their peers back into the festivities.
I ache that someone would come for me... to take my hand and lead me past the limitations of my own fearful faith.
Come Lord Jesus.

vandalism

Vandalism. The deliberate action to damage or destroy property belonging to another.
If it does not belong to you, you have no rights to alter it. That's why tagging rail cars is wrong... not because of the art (sometimes awesome work), but because of the ownership.
If someone commissions a tagger to paint a mural, it is not vandalism.
This is not a hard concept.
So what kind of person alters another's property without their authority?
Is a person who does not respect the boundaries of another a trustworth person?
I am reminded yesterday of renting a movie at the local Redbox machine; I'm waiting for my DVD to come out of the machine, and this lady brushes by me to try to jam her DVD into the machine to return it... are you serious? She's reaching AROUND me, in front of her kid, to bypass the international construct of "waiting in line". BTW, I don't want her kid in my science class; sorry...he's already been trained by her to step on others to please herself.
So how much would YOU trust this lady?
Or how much would you trust a stock broker that made unauthorized trades with your account?
The point is not about the isolated actions, it's about the social context within which the action takes place: some lady using a Redbox is not wrong for simply using a Redbox. And a broker investing money is not wrong, that's what they do for a living. It's that when a person demonstrates callous disregard for the wishes of another, their narcissism disqualifies them from relationship. Like a vandal.
So is Jesus a vandal?
What is the character of Jesus?
Will he alter that which is not his?
Or, is it possible that Jesus can be Savior but NOT Lord??
So how is it possible that the Christ who desires intimate relationship with us is denigrated as being impotent, when you or I have yet to fully surrender our lives over to his care?
How can he be transformational, when we leave him outside, still knocking at our door?
And what exactly are we afraid that he'll do??
Is he a vandal?
I think not.

Amazingly Faithless?

Mark 6:1-3 "...they were amazed. 'Where did this man get these things?' they asked. 'What's this wisdom that has been given to him, and he even does miracles.' Isn't this the carpenter? ...And they took offense at him."
They took offense at him.
They observed he had amazing insights and wisdom.
They took offense at him.
They knew he even healed the sick.
They took offense at him.
We take offense at him. "Who gives you the right...?"
"Your Jesus is not my jesus."
"...But, I don't want to." --What? Die to yourself?
They took offense at him.
v.6... and he was amazed at their lack of faith.

Confessions, part 1

Matthew 27:41-42 "In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down from the cross...' "
So they acknowledge that He saved others.
They acknowledge that, yet they pressed for his illegal execution.
They put him on the cross, then challenged God, to His face, to dare bring him down-- so that THEN they would worship Him.
Right.

Haulin' Bones

Exodus 13:19—“Moses took the bones of Joseph with him, because Joseph had made the sons of Israel swear an oath.”
Picture this: Moses trying to herd the sheep of Israel through uncharted lands, constantly battling whining and mutiny in the ranks, and on top of that he’s having to haul the bones of a dead ancestor.
It’s 2008 AD and families are still doing this.
How much of the patterns of interaction between our families, the disputes, the alliances, have NOTHING to do with us personally, but are instead some sicko hand-me-down from a parent or grandparent to whom we feel an allegiance?
How often do we replace an opportunity for reconciliation with a response that perpetuates our role as pallbearers?
Contrast that with the command of Christ to die to ourselves, to take up our cross, and to follow Him; to consider family as strangers for the sake of cross; to return good for evil. No wonder our families cried out, “Crucify!” No wonder the churches of today often live out the insanity of our forefathers, deciding what families are in or out based on old history.
I wonder how our present families would be different, if we put old bones to rest and used that energy to nourish the living amongst us?

"I drove Daddy's car!"

I love the magical thinking of children.
Their ability to simplify and sythesize along the path of least resistance.
It's like nephew who proudly proclaims, "I drove Daddy's car," when I know this meter-long creature could not reach the peddles, much less see over the dash without a booster seat. Of course what they meant was, "I sat in Daddy's lap while he was driving, and I even touched the steering wheel when he wasn't looking." It just seems so much easier to proclaim the former; the latter only clogs up one's delivery.
I wonder how much we are just like these fantastic children, thinking we are running our own lives, making the big plans, accomplishing all those goals?
I wonder if perhaps we're just sitting in Daddy's lap, oblivious to the bigger picture but participating in the Adventure as best we can comprehend?
God, forgive our childish arrogance.

Heresy

I believe in God the Father, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord. I believe in the Holy Spirit. But I don't think the theological construct of the Holy Trinity is directly attributed to in scripture; it's more a theo-philosophical contraction probably created to arm the illiterate from the serious threat of gnosticism or other heretical beliefs that Jesus was either not God's son, or was not really human?-- a mystical vapour or something?
My biggest struggle with swallowing the idea of the Trinity, as postulated by systematic theologians in my conservative circles, is I keep choking on what the Bible reads. I have been trained to say that God is 3 in 1, like a shamrock, or the Presbyterian fish-overlapping-ring thingy... kinda like a sanctified Venn Diagram. That Jesus is equal to the Father who is equal to the Spirit who is equal to Jesus, which is fine for a mantra, but I'm not seeing that directly stated in scripture. That point was cinched when I was asked to memorize a "proof text" in theology class as evidence of it, yet the scripture only mentions the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; the synthesis is parabiblical.
To complicate things, I believe that God is Spirit, and that God is Holy... you could say that God is Holy Spirit. And I believe that this God is like a Father to us even today, opening wide His arms of love to adopt those who would repent (not wanting anyone to perish); a father TO whom Jesus, His only true son, submitted and prayed, "Not my will be done but Yours."
I believe that Jesus was born of the virgin Mary, that he grew in stature and wisdom, and that he not only taught the way (prophet/teacher), but he provided the way (priest/sacrificial Lamb). Jesus was the man through whom the Holy Spirit entered our tactile, prehensile world. God walked among us in Jesus' footsteps, sinless, yet was differentiated enough from the Father that prayer with the Father was an earnest part of his daily life... even Jesus had to set aside time to be with God the Father... so how does that fit in boxed-in theology cubes?
Are there only 3 facets to reflect God to us? Why not 4 or 5... Creator, Ruler, etc...
So if you ask me, do I believe in the Trinity, let me simply reply, "Probably; what are YOU talking about?"

Halo3 and the Secret Weapon

About every decade I have a personal scavenger hunt; I try to find where I left my old copy of C. S. Lewis' book, The Screwtape Letters. The first time I read it was shortly after buying it during a high school discipleship group (late 70's); it was a little spooky, but mainly weird and less than relevant.
In college I read it and it was too relevant, and not weird enough, which was spooky. As a youth pastor fresh out of seminary, Lewis' work was entertaining but theologically tenuous... I was scary!
As a middle-aged, motorscooter-riding science teacher in a laptop-required high school, married to a technophilic graphic Artist, I'm looking again for my copy... I think I'm almost mature enough to appreciate it now! Somewhere buried in a box of books, abruptly translocated with the best intentions of painting the book shelves, is my old copy of the Letters. I don't remember too many of the specifics of the dialog between the demons, Uncle Screwtape and his apprentice, Wormwood, but I do remember one particular section of Lewis' fiction-- where Wormwood is told of the greatest weapon useful in defeating God's Kingdom. Distraction.
Yesterday I escorted the Artist to several computer stores where she was looking for various gizmos to upgrade her computer and integrate her new Mac. I'm already attention-deficit, but you put me in a store of plasma screens showing "Happy Feet" or "Planet Earth", I'm doomed to a standing coma, waiting for my cellphone (set to 'stun') to jumpstart my reentry into life as I left it a few minutes (hours) ago, dialed in by the Artist, who has now cleared the register and headed toward the door.
We are so absorbed by our technologies in today's world that we become oblivious to the world around us. We roll up our tinted windows of our SUVs, plug in the IPod, crank the AC and pick up the cell phone... and that's just to back down the driveway toward some tall guy on a scooter. (smile). Distracted.
It's almost entertaining to see students feverishly "taking notes" during lecture, or perhaps entering "data" into an ExCel spreadsheet, except when I call on them, they respond as if they just got the vibrating/loud cellphone call in the plasma screen section of CompUSA... blankly blinking at me as if I just queried them in Swahili. Surely they weren't gaming or checking MySpace? Distracted.
Now for those who are adequately ruffled because of where this is going, especially in light of the title, be at ease... I will not curse your gods by name--if I did, you might show me my own hypocrisy. Instead I will invite you to join me in considering what little time we have left in a day. I will not accuse, but simply confess... I traded my quiet time with God tonight for a football game.
Good night. Jim Kelley
(originally written Sept.30, 2007)

Cheesy Christian Music?

At last night's Tribal Gathering, as the menfolk tended the burning cowflesh with open flame, T-Man challenges the concept of whether there really is such a thing as "Cheesy" Christian music. His point was directed at the notion that, if a person, wandering the Prodigal's Path, hears some old tune on KSBJ and it quickens his heart toward fellowship with the Father, and if all forms of music have that appeal to someone out there, then is it right to call that music "cheesy"?
I responded: "Is Barry Manilow's music 'cheesy'?"
Case closed.
His point being that all Christian music has value.
My point being, yes, even cheesy Christian music.
So the point now being, what is "cheesy", if it is not some subjective construct-- and the counterpoint being exactly that... it IS a subjective matter.
So now, reader, we enter dialog.
What is "cheesy" Christian music to you? What are some examples?
For me (and perhaps reflective of my current ambient hue) it comes to a clone-perpetuating sugar-and-spice-and-all-things-nice ideology that tries to bring smiles to everyone, and if you aren't happy, well "smile anyway %For me (and perhaps reflective of my current ambient hue) it comes to a clone-perpetuating sugar-and-spice-and-all-things-nice ideology that tries to bring smiles to everyone, and if you aren't happy, well "smile anyway %$&*, 'cause people are amp;*, 'cause people are lookin'!"

Which reminds me of my Mentor group meeting this week. I meet on occasion with a dozen young men associated with a Christian organization, and this week we were discussing 'worship'. In the awesome dialog we shared, I discovered that only 2 students are actually participating in worshipping communities, while at least half were actually HOSTILE to how they have experienced their home churches... phony, pretentious entities who are more interested in outward conformity than authentic community. Wow! these guys were candid.
They went on about how most of the Christians are hypocrites.
"No," I corrected, "We ALL are."

So what's the solution? Are we supposed to walk around with angry, bitter hearts, discouraging each other? Of course not-- Paul admonishes us to encourage each other (Eph.4).
But it also calls us to be truthful, not phony, as the Golden Boy Preacher used to call it, "Shellacking a layer of 'jesus' over it and pretending everything's OK,"...even though something smells really bad.
And my challenge to you: Is that smell the cheese in "cheesy"?
JK (no, seriously)

God Cries?

Today was a hard day. 2 students I care about buried their daddy today after the funeral service this afternoon.
I knew the funeral was coming; even asked the Artist over bfast at Frenchy's what it would be like to get that phone call. I just can't imagine getting that call as a teenager. I prayed earnestly this week that God would do a miracle and bring him back; when I heard the final news that he was taken off life-support, my heart just turned to soup and drained out of my chest.
I've heard the text on several occasions, so when the Lutheran preached the short verse, it wasn't the first time I heard the verse... it was just the first time I heard the verse in a neighboring church, watching two young girls I care about sob over the death of their daddy. What do you say? I don't know; all I know is that Jesus wept.
So if I'm sitting there weeping and snotting all over myself as daughter #1 reads a love letter to her deceased father, and Jesus also weeps at scenes like that, maybe there is hope for a clod like me?
God, please hold those girls so tight that they smell Your sweet breath. God, hold me so tight that when I pass over, it will only seem a bump in the ride. Please remove any wicked way in me, that I might kneel in Your presence. Please teach me to be holy. Please teach me who You are, because I forget that You can cry.