So I pray for dear friends and family members who are having scary surgeries, and I'm hearing myself pray, and I'm wondering why I pray.
I mean, God already loves them fully.
Do I hope to persuade God to love them more?
Does He not desire that my beloved friends experience His presence?
Already?
I get the part about how prayer opens me up to God in my life, a way of surrendering my will to my LORD. But there is something weird about asking something of the Creator of the Universe, as if He wouldn't do it unless I prayed for it or something.
I do not mean to be disrespectful; that would be horror to me.
I just confess my spiritual ignorance publicly.
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4 comments:
I have to wonder about examples that have gone different ways. One on hand, a child dies of a disease even after the most fervent petitions for the healing (specifically, physical, on this earth) by the most faithful pray-ers are lifted up. On the other hand, a husband sends his petition to God, and God blesses him with a son through his wife.
It's interesting that God has chosen to make prayer, for whatever reason, a catalyst for change. Again, probably more accurate to say 'weird' instead of 'interesting', like you said, Jim...
I asked this very same question myself 7 1/2 years ago when I found myself pregnant. I began bleeding 6 weeks into the pregnancy. I prayed for four solid weeks that God would give me my child that I had never requested in the first place. I did everything right, and I lived a good life. I am a good mom. I was told by the doctor on a Monday morning that I had a tubal pregnancy and that I would need a tubal ligation. I prayed all sorts of prayers to God. I prayed that Rob would be at the hospital in time to see me off to surgery as he was in Chicago, and he was not. I was all alone with your mom to watch my two children at home. I woke to find Rob to tell me that there was a mistake and the doctor did a DNC instead of a tubal ligation. That is when I asked the question of why did I spend four weeks praying? God knew the outcome of that very day before I went into surgury, so why did I pray?
Why? I have come to understand that God has a plan for my life, and it is better than I can ever imagine or create. I can have gratitude for what happened. I can show you my list of wonderful things that have happened as a result of my pain. I love God for craddling me. Why pray? Because God heard my prayers, and He wept for me. He understood me. He answered my prayers. It just wasn't the way that *I* wanted them answered. When I pray, I have to pray as a child and expect answers like an adult......
And I don't pray for people so much anymore..... I just pray more for God's almighty will. He knows better than me because He has my best interest at heart, and He can see the big picture better than me..... It seems to work better that way. His will be done.
since blogging this, I have discovered Larry Crabb's book, "Shattered Dreams", which I find quite helpful in addressing some of the mystery of suffering and loss.
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