Melony, 41

Melony, 41. Someplace, Texas.
Closed.
It bums me when I realize that sometimes I'm too brusque.
I don't like it about myself, but it's part of the package.
The Paddle-Partner calls it "snarky"; I think of it as "being on my spiritual-period". Or maybe I'm just some crotchety old dude.

A few days ago I made an announcement on my profile to the microcosm that "...bipolar=scary"
I did not mean to be "mean", just up front, and didn't have enough 'letters' to be more specific on my profile. In my life bipolar people make me feel crazy because they make assumptions about my intention without checking reality, and often respond to their imagination and blame me for their behavior. That makes me crazy, and sad, and angry-- thus: scary.

Melony41 wrote to me out of the blue asking what I meant by "bipolar=scary": fair question; I appreciate the opportunity to explain that being in a relationship with a bipolar person can be exhausting, and I've had some negative experiences with bipolar persons in my life.. She agreed and shared an experience she had with a relative, then mentioned how scary that was for her and stuff.
She is a creative, lovely sister in Christ, a community builder who accidentally writes poetry simply by penning her thoughts. I enjoy reading her words. She also seemed a sensitive, compassionate person, yet courageous enough to ask a stranger from the blue a direct question-- I respect that. So I replied.

 I apologized if I was too blunt on my profile. Then I did something weird: I offered advice from the microcosm, because she had just arrived and may not understand the processes: if someone is obviously not a match for you, it's acceptable to "close" them, because you see something in that relationship that just won't work, and so that it's a good thing, because it allows both of you to move on. (I guess I was giving her permission to "close" me if I had offended her beyond repair or if she would not ever have further conversation with someone who might write something as brusque as "..bipolar=scary", because she seemed a sensitive person? and might not understand that it's ok to close an account? because she was new to the microcosm?) I warned her beforehand my comment was weird, but I actually was trying to be helpful.

She writes back that she was diagnosed bipolar at one point in her life, but that her friends don't agree with it, that she was perhaps healed, and that I obviously don't want to date bipolar people, and "closed" me before I could reply.
Ummm ok.

Ok.
But I obviously had not closed the account if I was writing to her.
So I obviously did not want to close the account...
So she obviously made her own decision, then blamed me for it? Hmm.
Life is messy.
I would not have closed her.

Closed.