54 unread messages

“Pray Continually…” 1 Thess.5:17

I open my laptop, plug in the AC cord and the LAN-line while unshouldering my bag of unfinished work that I was supposed to finish at home. The lights in my work space are off this morning, leaving the subtle ambiance of refracted daybreak to illumine my progress as I start my day. Within a minute I’m logged onto the network and pulling down my email, within a few more seconds I’m overwhelmed with the wave of requests, queries, quandaries and various curiosities comprising my 54 unread messages. This is the start of a new day. My lights are not even on and I’m already behind.

How is it that a moment ago I was enjoying the afterglow of a peaceful moment with a cinnamon-raisin bagel and a French-roast breakfast beverage? Or the quiet moment, right before I got out of the warmed car and stepped into the morning cold, when I had actually taken a moment to read today’s scripture from my One-Day Bible? Where did all that go? My first urge is to close the laptop and go back to the now-congested parking lot, a pseudo-regressive desire to reenter my wheeled womb, that primal scream, “I don’ wanna grow up!” Oh well, harden the heart and move into it, be a man, suck it up…hmmm, I wonder if there’s any coffee made?

And so it goes, another day at work, a ritualistic dance for many of us, a movement of opportunity and challenge that moves us toward productivity, whatever that word means. And how is it a mature Christian man can—in a moment—lose his conscious contact with the Beloved? How can he spend 11 hours a day being “productive”, yet so often be unaware of God’s loving presence? At which moment did my heart close over, or my awareness dim? How do I master the balance of both, starting with holding onto my morning moments of quiet and somehow bringing that into my work day?

Lord, I need you, here in this place.