Saturday, March 10, 2012

Getting your goat? Numbers 15

"...After you enter the land I am giving you as a home..."

I hate reading about Israel, for autobiographical reasons.
To find Chapter 15 in the Book of Numbers is not unlike discovering a wrapper of girl scout Thin Mints in the freezer after thinking my supply has been depleted.
There is something about the annual reading of Numbers in my OYB that conjures that sense that comes from waiting to see the dentist-- you're there for a reason, but is it worth the wait?
Today's reading starts with Ch.14 and that reality does nothing but reinforce my angst... Israel... really? [Jim... really?]
Recap for biblical neophytes:
God knew that a deadly famine was coming that could do great harm to His chosen people, so he used brotherly snarkiness to propel Joseph into a cascade of events, not unlike a Pachinko game, that lands the golden boy as big dog of Egypt. Having set that piece in place, Abba brings over Israel into a protected, fertile land to chase ungulates for a couple centuries... long enough to put their homeland back in shape and make the locals REALLY unpleasant to hang out with. [FYI- sometimes Abba uses jerks and mean people to prepare your hearts to leave a bad situation, so you can experience the MORE-ness He has for you... stop settling for pig slop... Jim.]
By now the locals have enjoyed using/abusing these migrant workers and so Abba raises up Moses by putting him into Pharaoh's own household, educating him in leadership, then sends him out into the wilderness to practice leading huge flocks of clueless Sheep, then at the right time sends Moses back and does a truckload of over-the-top miracles by God's power, demonstrating that he is a worthy leader and has an "in" with God. Because Pharaoh is an entitled jerk and a sorry leader-- because his arrogance and false sense of self is so corrupt, God simply uses that factor to wipe out Egypt's firstborns, which makes the overlords so eager to loose the migrants that they end up subsidizing their exit with bundles of loot.
This is to get Israel back to their homeland, and away from their comfy little slave-life of Less-ness. To help in motivating His people get moving, he puts Pharaoh's army into chariots with lots of scary implements and has them chase Israel through a giant gap through an inland sea, just to make sure they get going.
Once through the middle of the sea, God makes pastry rain down daily for breakfast to feed his people, making water appear in crazy ways in order to take care of Moses' new Flock in the wilderness. Israel continues to be stupid. Continually. Stupid. Finally God brings His people to the gates of the promised land, and send some scouts to go see that it really is a luxurious place with GI-normous amounts of fruit. The scouts gather up the amazing fruit, bring it back to the people, and convince the entire NATION that trusting God is a bad idea. They still have fruit on their breath. That takes us to Chapter 14.
In today's reading we find Israel wanting to kill Moses and Aaron for leading them to the land of milk and honey, instead wanting to go back to life in the slave camp.The people are listening to the Goats and becoming what they listen to (reminds me of the donkey-boys of Pinocchio.. the goat-boys of Israel?), except for Caleb and Joshua who remind the people that God has done EVERYTHING He promised up to that point, with flair, and thus: what's a tall person to the Almighty?
Seriously.
Meanwhile God has had it with these rebellious, unappreciative, blasphemous Goats; He starts warming up the spank ray, when Moses once again does his pastoral intervention thing and wins forgiveness for the Flock. Nonetheless: they pay for their blasphemy with a fatal 40 year hike until all the Goats eventually drop dead. Their blasphemy changes God's initial plan, but being Goats they think they can just use God's immutable nature as an excuse for self-actualization: the Amalekites and Canaanites handed them back their buttocks on a platter-- God was not interested in goatly faith.
Which leads us to Chapter 15.
Here we see a switch: this is a chapter of repeated promises that drip hope like a saturated honeycomb.
"After you enter..."-- you WILL enter, so afterwards...
"..a grain offering of fine flour.."-- crops? that means fields.. that means no more wandering around...
"..prepare a quarter of a hin of wine..."-- wine? that means vineyards... that means grapes, and grapes are fruit, and THAT is what the Father is like.
He does not give up on His people, but it's a REALLY BAD idea to rebel against plan A... at least for you it's a bad idea-- don't miss what Abba has for you, and for God's sake: don't pull somebody else down to your goat-ness.
Don't mess with cursing Daddy's character; listen to Caleb, listen to Joshua-- Abba is good, and He is greater than any supposed giant.
Worldly fear is just a stupid waste of joy and the Blessing that awaits those faithful and courageous enough to stand with Stephen... or Paul... or Jeremiah... or James... or Peter... or (you?)...

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