Pause...

I like this morning...
No alarm clock, just a slow fade into awareness like the old tv set we had as a kid... remember? the kind that sometimes you had to adjust the vertical, and when you turn it off there was this little white dot in the middle?
And remember the tv station signal pattern? and the sign off with the national anthem?
Remember recess to the playground?
Remember playing in the dirt with sticks, or poking ants or playing with pillbugs?
There was a time much different today when we didn't have cell phones, didn't have 24-hour news-channels, portable internet access or Siri.
There was a time when there was space in life to think deep thoughts, to dream rich dreams... to pause and reflect upon the amazing goodness within which God marinates us.
And so I celebrate this Jewish Sabbath with a lovely pause.
Thank you Jesus.
Into Your hands I commit my spirit.

ps- Please watch over my loved ones this summer.

Dead Man Walking...

"...but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you." (Acts 1:8)

Sometimes I relate to Lazarus; I've been given a fresh start, a do-over in Christ.
Sometimes I experience the Spirit's presence so closely that all I can do is weep.
Sometimes I feel dead inside, like the white-washed tombs of a pharisee. Or dead to feelings of romance, like my heart has lost its ability to give itself to another besides Jesus. Is this bad? Am I being unfair to those in my life that want more than I am able to give relationally? Do I just stop dating, shut down eHarmony, and walk away? Is the "more" that Abba has for me not include a significant other? Why can't I feel those feelings?

A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, but what if all my ways are not unstable? ... double-minded... I find myself in some weird, personal form of spiritual bipolarity? What is up with that?

I yearn for transformational power from on High.
I yearn for resurrection power, in me; through me.
I don't want to do anything that would compromise my intimacy with Jesus... so does this make me a monk? I'm ok with that, Abba, if that's what is best...
I also don't want to be a dead man walking, either.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?


Thanks be to God-- through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Sometimes You Are So Smart...

One of the things that I love about visiting the sisters down in the Counseling Corner is their "love for one another". Like right now: they're standing around each other, each working on separate tasks but there is this awesome sisterhood thing that occurs down here. Even their insults and candid comments do not wound deeply as might occur elsewhere:
Carebear: "Do they kill peacocks to get their feathers?"
MegaWeave: "That is a BAD question. I mean really.. Sometimes you are so smart, but THAT question.."
Carebear: [laughter] [both continue to work feverishly]
--that's it; no retaliation... just laughter and smiles as both their eyes never leave what they are working on.

First of all, to stay on task like they do is an amazing reality to an individual such as myself! [SQUIRREL!] Their professional acuity is marvelous--even now MegaWeave is discussing her backyard fire-pit and typing so fast that it sounds like machine-gun fire from Julius and Brian playing Call of Duty-3 at the Den of Men.
Even El Guapo, the men among the sisters, is cranking it non-stop, while Care-Bear and Trigger continue to work on next year's schedules as they each migrate back to their respective offices. It's amazing how much this office accomplishes behind the scenes, so much we take for granted by the time the school year starts again.
And I sit here like a lump.
It's quite intimidating, actually.
So I think I'll lumber away and recycle paper or do something else that may possibly give me some hope of being as cool as they are.
I'm also disappointed that nobody wants to go eat chips and salsa at Pappasito's.

I'm a teacher. It's summer. I'm still up at school.
Jesus, thank you for our community at HC. I love you.